So this was based on a twitter rant I posted last week. I went with a friend to a local club so we could grow our friend circle together. And then we met…that guy. You know that guy. The blowhard who manages to ruin everyone’s good time with his knowledge slinging bullshit. Ugh.
That guy.
Both of us left the club with mixed feelings. Sure, we ‘got along’ with everyone there, but there was def the feeling of neckbeard controlling behavior in the air. Even though Sago palms are literally native to Japan, I got gatekeeped anyway. By the dude with the dry dick energy of course.
I’ll have to make a proper comic about what Dry Dick Energy is but DDE is when your vibe makes you repulsive. You don’t want to have fun. You want to control everyone and everything around you to the point where you choke the life out of it. It’s less a commentary on one’s actual sexual exploits and more about how charming they are. Or in the case of Bonsai Neckbeard, how charming he wasn’t. He straight up asked me as his opener “Are you a ghoul?”
Once more for the cheap seats, this social wizard “Are you a ghoul?” as his opener.
Of course, it’s not an accident that BN teaches bonsai classes. That explains the negging. But wow, if he spent less time lecturing me about how much my very Japanese sago palm is ‘not bonsai’ and more time working on his ability to talk to women, he wouldn’t be drier than Death Valley and half as exciting.
That’s Dry Dick Energy. Because no one wants to make it wet.
Anyway, stay tuned for when I do start up my very real club about slutty Bonsai trees (and other slutty plants).